After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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