I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize