How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
