I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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