Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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