dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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