Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize