I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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