like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
