Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
