Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
