Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
