Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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