you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
