I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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