She announced her abortion via fbk
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize