Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
