We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
