Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
