I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
