i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she pinky promised me she was 18
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
