found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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