What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
i think i just lost a toe
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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