Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
