It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
