I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
