I just saw a hot homeless man
this will be a night to untag.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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