Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
