Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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