I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
