Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
