forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
