farters have to be the big spoon...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just had sex on a roof
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
