I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
