Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize