she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
