hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
