The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
