My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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