Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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