and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Randomize
