there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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