she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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