It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
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