Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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