kristin has been a bad kristin
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
