I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
