Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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