You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
