fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
