Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
