This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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