I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I CAN MOONWALK!
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My balls are so social today.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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