Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
