wat bout pragnant strippers??
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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