Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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