True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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