it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
