hotel room ftw
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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