i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize