I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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