I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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