I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
