found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
