you thought your balls were fighting each other...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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