Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
nutella sex= disaster
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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