so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Im part way to drunk.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
