I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
