Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
